A little boy goes up to his father and asks:
A little boy goes up to his father and asks: ‘Dad, what’s the difference between hypothetical and reality?’
The father replies: ‘Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she’d have sex with the mailman for $500, 000.’
The boy goes and asks his mother: ‘Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500, 000?’ The mother replies: ‘Hell yes I would!’
The little boy returns to his father: ‘Dad, she said ‘Hell yes I would!” The father then says: ‘Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she’d have sex with her principal for $500, 000.’
The boy asks his sister: ‘Would you have sex with your principal for $500, 000?’ The sister replies: ‘Hell yes I would!’
He returns to his father: ‘Dad, she said ‘Hell yes I would!” The father answers: ‘Okay son, here’s the deal: Hypothetically, we’re millionaires, but in reality, we’re just living with a couple of whores.’
A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, “How about a blowjob?”
“What! Are you crazy!”
“Don’t worry, it will be quick, ” he ensures his girlfriend.
“No! Someone might see us…”
“It’s just a small blowjob, ” he insists, “and I know you like it.”
“No! I said no!”
“Baby… don’t be like that.”
“Come on baby pleeeeaassseee”
“I’m not going to give you a blow job”
“Why Not…baby it will be quick I promise?”
Suddenly, the girl’s younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, with her hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, “Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he’ll come downstairs and blow the guy himself… but for God’s sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom.”