EIRE Republic of Ireland Ministry of Standards, Weights and Measures Irish Government Pipe Specification (EU Revised Regulations 6/03) Every pipe is to consist of a single long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centred around the hole. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length. Pipe holes must not be longer than the […]
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Love doctor
How to get a girls phone number in 3 minutes
How to get a girl’s phone number in 3 minutes The most important tip I can give you about picking up a woman is to MAKE EYE CONTACT with her. Look long and adoringly into her eyes. Never look down (a sign of submission, timidity, and weakness) and never look at a woman’s breasts when […]
Funny
John
John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife’s side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to’ […]
Funny
Murphy’s love and sex laws
Murphy’s Love & Sex Laws All the good ones are taken. If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason. (corr. to 1) The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you […]
Funny
Murphy’s computer laws
Murphy’s Computers Laws Any given program, when running, is obsolete. Any given program costs more and takes longer each time it is run. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. Any given program will expand to fill all the available […]
Funny
A lawyer married a woman who
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great […]
Funny
The lawyer has an accident
The Lawyer Has an Accident A lawer just got home from work. As he stepped out of his BMW, a speeding car ripped off the door. As the lawyer jumped up and down cussing and swearing, a cop who was driving by stopped. He rolled down the window and said, “What’s wrong?” The lawyer replied, […]
Funny
The ad graveyard
The Ad Graveyard Prelude: The Advertising Joke A COPYWRITER DIES, and Saint Peter offers him a choice of Heaven or Hell. The writer asks to see both. Leading him to a doorway, Saint Peter says: “Here in Hell, we have a room just for copywriters.” Inside, the writer sees row upon row of faceless hacks, […]