The Most Gruesome Death There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in. The first man in line started telling his story, ”Well, Peter, you see, I knew […]
The Devil There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said ”Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell. The worker agreed — not like he could do anything […]
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, “Great…he’s 4 and I’m gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun – I’ll just let him ask, […]
Signs that your swimming pool needs cleaning * That green tarp covering your pool? Look again, Sparky. * Neighborhood kids ask if they can jump on your trampoline. * Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first. * Skipping rocks across it causes sparks. * […]
Signs your dog is more intelligent than you! 10> Neighbors complain about loud music and howling coming from your apartment in the middle of the day. 9> You find mysterious sculpture of a human (who looks strikingly like you) on a leash in your living room. 8> Ice floating in toilet water. 7> Neighborhood cats […]
Too Much TV The bumper sticker on your car reads: “What Would Dawson Do?” In the middle of an exam, you tell the professor you want to use a lifeline. You need to be tranquilized when the cable goes out. In the late evening, you look forward to sitting back and catching the latest informercial. […]
Man falls asleep in church One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with […]
Teacher Jokes 1. A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.” The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t […]
