Who’s the Most Fun to Operate On? Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in […]

A young couple on the brink of divorce visits a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife what is the problem.
She responds “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.”
The counselor turns to her husband and inquires “Is that true?”
The husband replies “Well not exactly, it’s her that suffers not me.”

Jesus and Moses 
Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when all of a sudden Moses shouts out, ”You know what? I’m going to try and part the ocean again.” And he throws his hands in the air and magically the ocean parts. Jesus sees this and says, ”I’m going to try and walk […]

Who Is God? 
A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?” “Both son. God is both.” After awhile the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?” “Both son, both.” The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?”

A pianist A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month.
A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre […]

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with hisdirections. “Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?” said the teacher. “Nope. I haven’t,” said the dumb jock. “Somebody went through and drew lines […]

65 Things to do on a long Airplane Ride 1. Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it 2. Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar 3. Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, anounce that the first class passengers and luggage […]

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are gramthatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like “chalk” or “pencil” have a gender association, although in English these words are neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, “What gender is a computer?” The teacher was not […]

A man and his wife are doing yard work A man and his wife are doing yard work. Husband says to wife, “Your butt is as wide as the grill.” She ignores the remark. A little later the husband takes his measuring tape and goes over to his wife while she is bending over working […]