HOW TO MESS WITH THE IRS (Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary) Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples […]

Girlfriend 1.0 I’m currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I’ve been having some problems lately. I’ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I’ve tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if GirlFriend runs an emulation program […]

Bill vs. Saddam Mark as unread Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for talks onsanctions. When Bill sits down he notices Saddam’s chair has three buttons on the armrest. They begin talking but after 5 minutes Saddam presses a button and a boxing glove pops out of Clinton’s chair and bashes him […]

Clinton -vs- Titanic Similarities between the Titanic video and the Clinton grand jury testimony video: Titanic: $9.99 on the Internet Clinton: $9.99 on the Internet Titanic: over 3 hours long Clinton: over 3 hours long Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, […]

CONSULTANTS A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organisation… Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant. After a while, we noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when […]

FOR ALL THE LEXIOPHILES A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired. What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway). In democracy it’s your vote that counts; In feudalism it’s your Count that votes. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed. […]

Harley Davidson and Woman Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven.” Davidson thinks about […]

George and Laura Bush were on a private jet en route to a public speaking in Florida.After staring out the window with a curious look on his face he turns to Laura and says, “Hey Laura, how about I throw a $100 bill out of the airplane and make a person happy?” Laura replies, “Well, […]

How To Clean Your Toilet – The Fun Way 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet […]