Browsing Category: Funny

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on his birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, […]

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? “Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “The Lawyer,” and the party of the second part, […]

50 ways to flunk a Test Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes.Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!” If […]

A Dog Named Sex Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot”. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, […]

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: A little boy goes up to his father and asks: ‘Dad, what’s the difference between hypothetical and reality?’ The father replies: ‘Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and […]

Subject: In-Flight Announcements All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: We had just landed at Raleigh in North Carolina some 20 years ago on an East/West Airlines flight from […]

Jack and his friends were playing golf one Saturday. As they are getting ready to tee off, a guy walks up and asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other, look at the guy and say, ‘Sure.’ About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy […]

A MAN’S ‘IT’ TALE Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I’d used for year without trouble. However there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is […]

A Successful Business Man A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket — If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went […]