Browsing Category: Funny

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it’s missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike […]

Telemarket Repellant If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are […]

100 Reasons it’s Great to be a Guy 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about cars. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Night Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your […]

Ways to reject pick-up lines 1.) Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.” 2.) Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?” Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?” 3.) Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.” Woman: “No thanks. There’s […]

Funny One-Liners 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest? 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. A clear conscience is […]

Radio Silence A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.” The […]

LETTER TO THE BANK The guy who wrote this is a genius. The letter below is an actual letter sent to a bank in the United States. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the NewYork Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with […]

What a world? (country NSW)… On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it […]

Little Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to find his mother taking a bath. He points at her bush and asks, ‘What’s that Mommy? ‘A little embarrassed, she tells him that is her sponge. Tommy is satisfied with that answer and goes back to playing with his toys. Some time later, Tommy catches his […]