WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. […]
Browsing Category: Funny
Funny
I was so ugly
I was so ugly and stupid as a kid I’m so ugly…I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I’d get. The Department of Family Planning wanted to make me poster boy – for birth control. My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in […]
Funny
Man schooling
Man Schooling: ———————————————— For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage – under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for marriage. Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates degree…. TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six mini-mesters, you, too, […]
Funny
Make a woman happy
Make a Woman Happy – The Points System For all you guys out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get […]
Funny
It was the mailman
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big […]
Funny
Eire
EIRE Republic of Ireland Ministry of Standards, Weights and Measures Irish Government Pipe Specification (EU Revised Regulations 6/03) Every pipe is to consist of a single long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centred around the hole. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length. Pipe holes must not be longer than the […]
Funny
John
John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife’s side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to’ […]
Funny
Murphy’s love and sex laws
Murphy’s Love & Sex Laws All the good ones are taken. If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason. (corr. to 1) The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you […]