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Browsing Category: Funny
Featured / Funny
Elvis vs. Jesus
JESUS is the Lord’s shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybill Shepherd. JESUS was a carpenter. ELVIS’ favorite high school class was wood shop. JESUS was part of the Trinity. ELVIS’ very first band was a trio. JESUS’ entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. ELVIS’ entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members. JESUS is a Capricorn. (December […]
Funny
I think Santa Claus is a woman
I think Santa Claus is a woman I think Santa Claus is a woman… I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull […]
Funny
The Test
The Test A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, ””What is 2+2?”” The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ””4.”” Then the mathematician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, ””4.0”” Then the lawyer […]
Funny
Year 2000 Interview With Jesus
Year 2000 Interview With Jesus Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet News has obtained an EXCLUSIVE interview with the one person most to blame for the situation. Internet News: We have as our guest today the man whose birthday is the cause of the Y2K predicament, Jesus Christ. What do you have […]
Funny
Stress
Stress stress strɛs/ noun noun: stress 1. pressure or tension exerted on a material object. “the distribution of stress is uniform across the bar” synonyms: pressure, tension, strain, tightness, tautness; raretensity “the distribution of stress is uniform across the bar” the degree of stress measured in units of force per unit area. 2. a state […]
Funny
A Priest’s First Mass
A Priest’s First Mass A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start […]
Funny
The holy Scripture may have had a different bent if written by college students
The holy Scripture may have had a different bent if written by college students The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning -cold, with stale Coke. The Ten Commandments would actually be only fible-spaced, with wide margins, and written in a large font. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because […]
Funny
OMgoodness
OMgoodness O’Casey had dated many a lass, but he finally became entranced with Maureen O’Riley. He wooed her and pursued her, but she would not give in and go to bed with him. Finally he proposed marriage and she accepted. On their wedding night, as they undressed in their honeymoon cottage, O’Casey said, “You know, Maureen, I […]