A very sick man is in the hospital, and on many drugs which give him bowel problems. After many false alarms, he accidentally craps himself.Very embarrassed, he balls up the sheets and throws them out the window, where a drunk is staggering on the way home. The drunk starts flailing at the sheets, throwing his […]
Browsing Category: Funny
Funny
Top ten ways to get drunk for five dollars or less
Top 10 Ways to get Drunk for Five Dollars or Less Number 10. Be a frosh (freshman). It’s not true that every frosh can be knocked into unconsciousness by waving a tom collins under their nose, but as those of us who go hunting for frosh on “New Kids night” at the local dance holes […]
Funny
Blonde brunette redhead in desert
A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert. The brunette says, “I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.” The redhead says, “I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.” Then the blonde says I brought a car door.” The other girls said, “Why did you bring that?” Then the blonde […]
Funny
Blinker on the road
Two blondes were driving down the road.The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ”Yes. No. Yes. No.”
Funny
Short jokes
What did Santa say to the three blondes on the corner? “Ho. Ho. Ho.”What do you call a doll on fire? A Barbie-Q! What’s the difference between a blonde and a brick wall? A brick wall’s only been laid once! Q: What’s the difference between a blonde’s brain and a box of rocks? A: Nothing. […]
Funny
New football
A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He tells her, “No. These are for boys.”The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his […]
Funny
Billy’s homework
Billy’s homework assignment is to think of a true story with a moral so he goes home and thinks about it all night and finally has one.The following day, Suzy raises her hand first and says, “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into […]
Funny
50 things to do in an elevator
50 Things To Do In an Elevator Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.” Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!” […]
Funny
Blonde in a boat
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you’re doing? Its things like this […]