Browsing Category: Funny

A little girl came running into the house crying A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. “Why do you want cider?” asked Mom. “To take the pain away, ” sobbed the little girl. Tired of […]

THE DUMBEST AUSSIE This picture is real – not doctored in anyway – and was taken by a Transportation Supervisor for a company that delivers building materials for the Home Depot. When he saw it in the parking lot, he went and bought a camera to take pictures. The car is still running, as can […]

A Woman’s Plan A woman and a man got into a really bad car accident. Both cars are totaled, but luckily no one was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, “Wow, just look at our cars! They are destroyed. Fortunately, we aren’t hurt. This must be a sign from God […]

Top 19 things to do in a Public Bathroom 1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask yourneighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. Say “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silencewith a bodily function noise 4. […]

Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, “Well, tonight’s the night we have sex!” And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, “My God, if I knew she […]

At a recent computer expo, COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, and we would all be driving $25.00 cars that go 1,000, miles to the gallon. In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a […]

16 Ways to Recognize a Company Car 1. They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse. 2. They accelerate at a phenomenal rate. 3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance. 4. They can take bumps at twice the speed on private cars. 5. Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not need to […]

A husband, one bright sunny morning, A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want […]

Cross Examination A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial – it went like this: Attorney: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? Officer: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. D.A.: Officer, who provided this description? Officer: […]