I need a drink   Walking into the bar, Harvey said to the bartender, “Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had a fight with the little woman.” “Oh yeah,” said Eddie. “And how did this one end?” “When it was over,” Harvey replied, “she came to me on her hands and knees.” “Really? Now that’s a […]

The top 12 names for a Michael Jackson reality show 12> Too Gross for Comfort 11> Touched by a Wacko 10> The Pedo-Files 9> Dinner and a Movie and a Couple of Minor Surgical Procedures 8> Survivor: Balcony in Berlin 7> Father’s Nose Mess 6> Child Protective Services, Where Are You? 5> Trading Races 4> Telemundo […]

You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener. You think doctorin’ involves mamma’s sewing kit and a jug. The strongest smell in your house is butane. Your dog passes gas and you claim it. None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take […]

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, Ribbit 9 Iron.” The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. Again, he […]

100 Ways to Order a Pizza 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use CB lingo where applicable. 4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. 5. Terminate the call […]